Drink, feck, girls and marine grade diesel fuel

A note on shops and bars in Dingle. As it was the last place where Christopher Columbus stopped off on his way to India, the Dingle 'Reliable' compass manufacturing company has since gone west, or south. Dingle has a dolpin called 'Fungie' who reflects the peninsula's sexuality by living alone in a cave and only coming out to entertain the 'visitors' who think he's great 'craic'. Dingle can lay claim to some of the finest bars in the hemisphere, it has more bars than Lichtenstein. It also has a large population of crusty new age type freakabouts who seem to think the dijeredoo is the ideal accompaniment to the bodhran, accordian and tin whistle - all of which should be inserted rectally into said unwashed types. As I mentioned, Murphy's bar is a hit on the food front, you'll find it on Strand St., just across from the pier. Along the same strip there is John Bennys and an essential halt is Paddy Bawn Brosnans. A visit to Dick Macks is a must but keep away from the 'friendly local types' who are probably from Brighton and are looking for a drink (Green St., opposite the church). Up on Main St, Danny Mac Carthys (that's the English spelling) is worth a visit, as too is Foxy John Moriaritys where you can have a pint and peruse a wide range of hardware, I highly recommend their selection of tap washers. Main Street has quite a lot of bars BUT AVOID THE BRIDGE BAR AT ALL COSTS, it's plastic Paddy and full of American Erasmus students and people from the Northside of Dublin trying to get laid by pretending their grandfather was a personal friend of Michael Collins while singing 'The Fields of Athenry'. One of the jewels in Dingle's crown is 'O Flahertys' (the English spelling). The owner is out there belting out Kerry sets on the accordian. I love the atmosphere in this place, you can scrape it off the inside of your glass. For shopping requirements Garveys supermarket is your one-stop spot in town. Books can be obtained from Siopa Leabhair where you can also practice your Gaelic - be warned, the owner does not take kindly to people saying 'Tá se mahogany gaspipe'. The finest butchers south of Fenlons in Stillorgan Shopping Center is Kennedys (00353 669152511) where their selection is superb; Kerry lamb, boiling bacon, smoked rashers, Aunascaul black pudding, fine sausages and weighty T-Bone steaks - yummee. For all your hardware needs, pop into Fitzgeralds, it's an Alladin's cave of rubber boots and wheelbarrows. If you need diesel for the tractor or oil for the trawler, contact Mike Murphy on 00353 87 4109963 for six day delivery from Geaneys Oil.