Encarna in Ireland 7th&8th Jan.

Great to be back in my little beddie with the Discovery channel blanding on about submarines or pyramids or how pencils are made. After a stunning breakfast at Mama T's we took a trusty 46a-er into town . It was cold, very cold and little Encarna was suffering. Keoghes was the second stop after Encarna threw ice on the pond St, Stephen's Green. We then went into Trinity College which is one of the great seats of learning - and The Trinity Ball is the highlight of the season, it's the only time I was ever allowed into the place. Army Bargains on Little Mary Street is where I get my black cargo troons so I pick up a pair there. A beer in a church (?) where Handle practised 'The Messiah' before unleashing it on the unsuspecting Dubliners, who later on got their own back, in O'Donoghues. We went for dinner in () and I have to say that the service and the rib-eye steak were orgasmic, well the steak was. Day 8 and it was time to head back to Madrid, something which went off without too much hassle though I MUST recommend THE CLOCK BAR in terminal B, if you haven't been there, you ain't been nowhere dude. We slapped into runway 3 and Javi was waiting to take the beautiful Encarna out of my clutches and put her on the bus back to Cadiz. It snowed the next day.

Encarna in Ireland 6th Jan

It's Reyes in Spain when the spoilt little Spanish brats have their second Christmas when they should be having a clip around the ear and extra coal shoveling duties. A very respectable breakfast in the Jurys Inn. There's nothing better than a morning after the night before and their scrambled egg and bacon set me up nicely. Encarna is in love so she would knaw on a rotten seagull should you throw her one. We headed off for Athlone and stopped in 'Sean's Bar' reputably the oldest bar in Ireland. It's where I have spent many a happy hour with the venerable Admiral Fleetwood awaiting the arrival of the lock-keeper to allow us passage up, or down the Shannon, the river which bisects Ireland from East and West as opposed to the Irish who bisect Ireland from North to South - and I'm only talking about Dublin folks. Back into Dublin for a wondeful dinner with Mama T, drop off the car keys and go for a quiet pint up the road in 'Kielys - the Mount Merrion House' a refuge from the hustle and da bustle that is Eddie Rocketts in Stillorgan.

Encarna in Ireland 5th. Jan

With my usual remorse, we leave Dingle. I know I’ll be back. Sometime forever, more of that later. We drove over the Conor Pass and had clear skies and on a clear day, the Conor Pass is one of the wonders of the world. We took the ferry across the Shannon from Tarbert to Kilimer. The first major stop was the Cliffs of Moher. It’s one of Ireland’s most beautiful tourist attractions and as such has been turned into a massive car-park with grill-bar and tourist shop. 6€ entrance included. There was a time when you could perch on the edge of the cliff and look down at the seabirds gliding around. Alas, in this politically correct health and safety conscious world, you are now reduced to queuing up to take the standard postcard photo. My friend Violeta tells me there’s a much more interesting cliff in Donegal – I’m there. We then went off in search of one of the several dolmens that are scattered around The Burren, if you can scatter dolmens around, however the directions were woegious and we just had a cool drive around this unique landscape which was a favourite with my father R.I.P. We checked in to Jury’s Inn in Galway and I can recommend it. Another football pitch for a bed and Encarna has her own little nest. She’s missing her man I feel because she ran a super bath for me, so she could spend some time chatting on the computer with her lucky beau. Galway itself is a great city. There’s one street and if it’s not on it, it’s not worth visiting. Naughtaun’s is the bar ‘par excellance’, the Skeffington Arms Hotel has to be seen to be believed, there’s a Murphy’s, strangely enough plus a few other great places whose names escape me. The food offer is wide, varied and very reasonable. We ate somewhere with a big fireplace. It was one of those special meals – big open fire, demon steak, great company (Encarna is a very picky eater and when she gets what she wants it’s happy days) and just a big glow. Two even chubbier campers waddle back to the hotel where Encarna prepares the aforementioned bath. I could live like this.

Drink, feck, girls and marine grade diesel fuel

A note on shops and bars in Dingle. As it was the last place where Christopher Columbus stopped off on his way to India, the Dingle 'Reliable' compass manufacturing company has since gone west, or south. Dingle has a dolpin called 'Fungie' who reflects the peninsula's sexuality by living alone in a cave and only coming out to entertain the 'visitors' who think he's great 'craic'. Dingle can lay claim to some of the finest bars in the hemisphere, it has more bars than Lichtenstein. It also has a large population of crusty new age type freakabouts who seem to think the dijeredoo is the ideal accompaniment to the bodhran, accordian and tin whistle - all of which should be inserted rectally into said unwashed types. As I mentioned, Murphy's bar is a hit on the food front, you'll find it on Strand St., just across from the pier. Along the same strip there is John Bennys and an essential halt is Paddy Bawn Brosnans. A visit to Dick Macks is a must but keep away from the 'friendly local types' who are probably from Brighton and are looking for a drink (Green St., opposite the church). Up on Main St, Danny Mac Carthys (that's the English spelling) is worth a visit, as too is Foxy John Moriaritys where you can have a pint and peruse a wide range of hardware, I highly recommend their selection of tap washers. Main Street has quite a lot of bars BUT AVOID THE BRIDGE BAR AT ALL COSTS, it's plastic Paddy and full of American Erasmus students and people from the Northside of Dublin trying to get laid by pretending their grandfather was a personal friend of Michael Collins while singing 'The Fields of Athenry'. One of the jewels in Dingle's crown is 'O Flahertys' (the English spelling). The owner is out there belting out Kerry sets on the accordian. I love the atmosphere in this place, you can scrape it off the inside of your glass. For shopping requirements Garveys supermarket is your one-stop spot in town. Books can be obtained from Siopa Leabhair where you can also practice your Gaelic - be warned, the owner does not take kindly to people saying 'Tá se mahogany gaspipe'. The finest butchers south of Fenlons in Stillorgan Shopping Center is Kennedys (00353 669152511) where their selection is superb; Kerry lamb, boiling bacon, smoked rashers, Aunascaul black pudding, fine sausages and weighty T-Bone steaks - yummee. For all your hardware needs, pop into Fitzgeralds, it's an Alladin's cave of rubber boots and wheelbarrows. If you need diesel for the tractor or oil for the trawler, contact Mike Murphy on 00353 87 4109963 for six day delivery from Geaneys Oil.

Encarna in Ireland 4th Jan.

Another interesting breakfast in Bay Watch hosted by Tom Houlihan (Veronica's husband). You really have to spend a few days here - in Dingle and points west - to begin to get a grasp of the concept that the people of Corcha Duibhne have on reality, it's unique and so close to that other place I hold so close, Cadiz. I am lucky to be in my favourite place in the world with a Gaditana, Encarna. I hope to be able to bring someone from the Gaeltacht (Treasa, for example) to Cadiz to make a comparison. Enough of that. Today was a day to visit rusty stones and slippery slipways. First stop was O'Cathain's bar in Ballyferriter. A very special place in the Murphy tapestry of things. We stopped at 'Tra Fiona' (correct my spelling please) where we went on a rock pool exploring expedition, something which I hadn't done since the last century. Encarna found loads of new friends scuttling about the bottom of the pools. I for one got to stand at the very end of a rock as the Atlantic sloshed and swelled around my ankles. On to Gallerus Oratory, a very old stone chapel with no central heating or seats but it boasts the fact that Saint Brendan used to doss down there after a few pints and a kebab. To Kilmakeadar which is the sort of place you'd expect on 'Time Team' as it's a mixture of all epochs of Irish history, there's an ogham stone, an early christian sundial, a very early cross and the Romanic church - but no bar. We then went to visit 'Cuas' which is where Saint Brendan set off to discover America, only that it wasn't called America then. Eric the Red had called it 'Vlopenhoordom' which didn't catch on . We then stopped off for a beer (Kaliber in my case your honour) in Ballydavid where I asked for a packet of Dry roasted Planters nuts whereupon it was pointed out to me that there was a table creaking under the weight of sausage rolls and soup, further enquiries revealed that these were the remnants of a funeral party that had moved on to better things. Back to Murphy's bar in Dingle for dinner. It really is the best value/service as well as closeness to my new aicraft-carrier sized bed. Encarna is smothered in a sea of eiderdown and has started snoring, albeit of an amateur staus.

Encarna in Ireland 3rd Jan

The breakfast in 'Bay Head' is not up to our usual standard but it did provide sustinance for the howling gales that followed. A stroll along the seafront brought us to the Aquarium and well worth a visit it is too. As the name suggests, it's full of water with fish swimming around. They have an amazing variety of fish and it's all very accessible. There are dedicated tanks to different eco-systems and one huge tank with a big turtle (Encarna's new best friend) and a shark as well as other creatures of the deep who seemed to get along fine together. Another great thing they have is a tactile pool where you can touch various fish who seem to have been trained for the purpose, they certainly like a good tickle and when it's the sweet Encarna doing the tickling it made me think about changing our rooms back, lucky fishies. Along the coast and a stop at Paudi O'Sé's. He is a GAA football legend (Kerry is the greatest football team IN THE WORLD) and he has a bar to prove it festooned as it is with photos of him with all class of people - the best one is of him with Dolly Parton. On to Slea Head, the westernmost point in Europe, though the people in the Azores might take exception. Down to Coomenole beach which is where I spent many a happy day as a child getting flattened my the enormous Atlantic rollers that started life somewhere off Newfoundland. Bits of the film 'Ryan's Daughter' were filmed here and most of the double glazing and central heating around the area was installed as a result of the earnings from that. As well as the photography and it's effect on tourism, it's all the film was good for, oh and Sarah Miles nipples. A stop was made in Kruger Kavanagh's - the westernmost bar in the world. I met him when I was a child, he gave me a rabbit he had shot on Blasket Island and I had to carry it back on the curragh (a type of rowing boat used along the West coast of Ireland), the rabbit pissed all over me, even though it was dead. So that's a memory. Clogher strand is a spectacular sight, especially if the sea is up, not today though. Encarna did manage to make friends with some stones though, is there no end to her talents? We stopped at Dun an Oir to visit the site of this particular massacre of Irish and Spanish soldiers way back at the time of FelipeII. Back to Dingle for a massive feed in Murphy's pub, by far the best value for grub in the town. Dingle has some great bars, but more of that tomorrow.

Encarna in Ireland 2nd Jan

The breakfast buffet in The Clarion is a wonderous thing to behold, in fact it’s about four breakfasts in one and I had to have a little siesta after the feast. Encarna also did herself proud and it was two slightly chubbier contented temporary canvas covered structure dwellers pulled out of Cork. First stop was a visit to the Dalys near Mallow. Michael is now in charge of the big farm. It’s a very special place because it’s where we spent a lot of our childhood and this big working farm is a credit to the Daly family. It’s lambing time and Michael showed us around the pens with the new-born lambs as well as the expectant mothers. Encarna demonstrated her particular gift with animals, something new to me and she made friends with lambs, cows and a big piggie (not me), in fact, anything that was covered in shite or had its afterbirth hanging out of it’s arse. We headed off to Dingle via Killarney. Killarney was the first major tourist attraction in Ireland when the English gentry would come to ‘take the waters and admire its wonderful perspective’. The place is a hole, though the lakes are very picturesque. The problem is that nothing important is signposted so you can’t find the road to the alleged lakes, you can however, find your way to any one of the thousands of Bed and Breakfasts called ‘Lakeview’. To Dingle with a pleasant drive along the peninsula with views of The Magilacuddy reeks across the bay. An essential stop is ‘The South Pole Inn’ in Aunnascaul. Dan Breen opened this place after spending a career in the British Navy and going on Antarctic expeditions with Earnest Shackleton. Mr. Breen isn’t around any more but the bar lives on and is doing very nicely thank you. Encarna made friends with the dog or the other way ‘round. We had been recommended a good guesthouse in Dingle and we were booked in. When we presented ourselves we were told that we would be taken to another B&B as the heating wasn’t working. So we ended up in ‘Bay Watch’ which is very near the pier and slap up against ‘Murphy’s Pub’, which can’t be bad. The room left something to be desired considering it was costing 75€ a night. Encarna and I are good friends but that does not stretch to sharing a large single bed. However intimately I would like to acquaint myself of her charms, Encarna is in a steady relationship and I snore for Ireland.

Encarna in Ireland 31st & 1st

New Year's Eve in Bray with Haji (AKA Ann), Gonzalo, Rebecca and Isidora. There is a whole other book to be written about these people suffice to say that they are some of my closest friends and we were invited to have dinner. Gonzalo cooked a hefty roast lamb. Rebecca did the veg, Isi did Wii activities, Haj was the hostess with the mostest and Encarna got to practice her Spanish. I made a vain attempt to drain the European cider lake. Thank you for a great evening and the lift home - all these grumbling taxi drivers and you can't get one when you want. 1st of Jan '09!!! The year when the world implodes. No stopping us though as we strike out for the south. First port of call is Morriseys pub in Abbeyleix. This is the place that Guinness used as a template for one of their 'Irish pub' concept schamozzle. You really have to visit it. The original pub/grocers with excellent Knorr catering pack soup and big toasted sarnis. The Rock of Cashel was scaled, well you leave the wheels in the car-park and negotiate the incline to the pay desk. It's a very historic place with lots of unturned stones and crows. Google it. Cork! The rebel county or city, whatever you want to call it. I call it a large town near Kinsale. We checked in to the Clarion, a smart hotel overlooking the river with a bathroom the size of my house. When in Cork there are one or two important places to visit; The Hi B on Oliver Plunkett St. has to be one of the most original bars in Ireland, it's like being in a scene from 'One flew over the cuckoo's nest'. Counihans, (The place around the corner from it up an alley), The Oak, The Mutton Chop and The Roundy House. There are a few other places whose names escape me but I shall be returning to Cork for an in-depth blog report. For eats we went to 'Soho' for trendy bar food in comfortable and friendly surroundings - blahblahblah. It was also a chance to meet up with Mama T (who was visiting for the state opening of Martin's tool shed), A, Martin, Rory and Ciarain. Just opposite it is The English Market which is a veritable cornucopia of goodies and just the place to stock up the hamper before continuing the tour.

Encarna in Ireland 28,29,30

28th Dec. A bit of a slow start to the day alter the excesses of yesterday. Nevertheless Encarna came bounding down the stairs ready for more action. Today is race day so we head for Leapardstown, one of the institutions of Christmas in Dublin. A chance to have a few scoops, lose money on the nags and rub shoulders with the rich and famous – I did all, Encarna on the other hand, found some money on the ground and as she was taking it easy, came out ahead on the day. Thanks to Alex for getting us the passes and to the Admiral Fleetwood and family for entertaining us and giving us a well-needed lift back home. Next day was excursion day so we drove down to visit the Powerscourt waterfall, as seen in ‘Excalibur’, to Eniskerry village and finally to Johnny Foxs pub. It’s a sort of theme park museum with acres of photos of visiting dignitaries and tons of rusting agricultural implements. The bill of fare is very good and despite the fact that it is one of the highest pubs in the land, the speciality is seafood. I had a demon chowder and Encarna had a cheese plate with heaps of brown bread to which she is coming partial. The 30th was the trip to Belfast if only to be able to say I was on the ‘Enterprise’ (Star Trek fans take note), the train that whisked us across the border. We didn’t have a lot of time but sufficient to have a stroll around, a plate of champ in The Crown bar, a spin on the Belfast Wheel, a photo opportunity with the monument to the International Brigade who fought in the Spanish Civil War and the main reason – a chance to have a couple of pints with Ed and Ira in the Prince of Wales.

Encarna in Ireland 27th Dec.

After a breakfast of kings, the type only Mama T can provide, we set off for the city center on the trusty 46A - the mythical bus that appears out of the mists during the winter solstice. First stop was Keoghes on South Ann St. always my first stop in town. A wonderful place with the light slanting in through the window and illuminating their fine pint, better than the passage graves at Newgrange sort of solstice effect. The obligatory photo with Phil Lynott outside Bruxelles and the obligatory visits to O'Neills of Sussex St. (fine food buffet all day), The Stags Head for their excellent home-made soup and on to The Porterhouse for a pint of Wrasslers XXXX. A visit was made to Oliver St. John Gogarty's which has the unique distintion of being the only Irish bar in Ireland that looks like it should be in Boston/Belgrade/Abu Dabi or whatever you're having yourself. After that, the senses needed to be restored with a visit to the Palace on Fleet St. a wonderful establishment which has a plaque behind the bar which reads 'A bird is known by it's song, a man by his conversation'. A stop at Mulligans on Poolbeg St. for what is arguably the finest pint of Guinness on the planet. A little relief was called for, though the young Encarna was bearing up well, so we took the Dart out to Blackrock to meet up with some friends and go for dinner in a place called Dali. It has very good reviews among the people who work in the ajoining insurance offices - I thought it had it's head up it's arse. All in all a wonderful introduction to Dublin for the Linense - I think.